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The Not-So-Dry Tortugas

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The Yankee Freedom , docked at Dry Tortugas National Park. I am a planner. Back when I was a teacher, I planned out every day of the following school year before leaving for the summer. Every single day. That’s the truth. And anyone in my family will tell you that when it comes to vacations, my planning can become obsessive. I sometimes joke that if we leave for vacation five minutes late, the schedule for the entire week will be thrown off! I like to plan because I like having things organized; I like feeling secure; I like being ready for contingencies. I don’t like “winging it”; I don’t like being spontaneous; I don’t like going somewhere without knowing where we are going, how long we will stay, how much it will cost, or when we will get back. So I had done a lot of planning about a year ago when Cindy and I took a ten-day trip to Florida for our fortieth wedding anniversary. We did Florida from bottom to top, starting at the Keys, moving up to the Everglades, hitting Miami, ...
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WARNING! Dad Humor Ahead!

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Dear friends, Every so often I am possessed—of a joke so corny, so lame, so groan-inducing, that I must turn it into a little comic. This is not because I am an amazing artist. It is not because I am an amazing humorist. It is simply because if I do not turn it into a little comic, the joke might die forever unheard, like a song unsung, a leaf un-unfurled, a cloud unmistified. So here’s the latest batch. May they lift your spirits if they need lifting at this festive time of year! I appreciate all who take the time to read my blog—thank you! Steve PS: If you enjoy these (really?), you can find more here . All material contained herein copyright 2024, Steven Nyle Skaggs
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Men. And Women. And Restrooms.

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  IMPORTANT NOTES: ·          First, I’ve said before in this forum that I try to stay out of political arguments, and that’s still true. Sometimes, though, I feel compelled to weigh in on an issue, and this is one of those times. I see this topic as not mainly political, however, but societal. ·          Second, parental discretion is advised. The comments below are intended for an adult audience. ·          Third, I would love to hear thoughtful responses on this posting. Do you agree? Do you disagree? Am I oversimplifying? Am I missing something? I’m very interested in respectful responses that allow us to continue this discussion in a mature way. ·          Fourth, this is not a debate regarding the morality of “gender-affirming” (i.e., transitional, cross-dressing) actions and procedures. Such conversations...
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Gravely Mowing the Lawn

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On Saturdays male college students left campus in abundance. Some went to the mall. Some went home. And some of us who needed cash went to work for the good folks in the local community. It was on one such Saturday that I found myself at Mrs. White’s, along with a fellow college student named Phil. We rode there in Phil’s rattle-trap car, parked, got out, slammed the doors, and walked to the front door of a rambling white house with dark blue shutters. Wisteria grew profusely on a trellis to the left of the door, draping it in purple, and a hulking magnolia tree grew on the right, fully in bloom and fragrant. Phil knocked, and when the door opened, a tiny former Southern Belle with completely white hair welcomed us. It was Mrs. White. She must have at least been in her seventies, and you could tell she had always been happy and honest of soul, two traits that had given her a grandmotherly glow from within. We stepped just inside the door, and she introduced us to her son, Plato (yes, “...
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And Now for Something Different: Minimalist Movie Descriptions

Can you name each movie based on its minimalist plot synopsis? Kudos to my brothers Keith, Eric, and Joel for their creative input! • Archaeologist repeatedly risks his life to ensure that an ancient artifact is properly warehoused. Raiders of the Lost Ark • A whiner with daddy issues saves the day. Star Wars: A New Hope • World’s worst proprietor teaches motel guest that cleanliness is next to deadliness. Psycho • Family film glorifies a romantic relationship between two different species. Beauty and the Beast • Handsome wanderer spends two hours squinting. High Plains Drifter • After the king’s brother kills the king and marries the queen, the king’s ghost appears to his son, urging him to avenge his death. The Lion King . Or Hamlet . Same plot. • Bacall teaches Bogie how to whistle. To Have and Have Not • Faithful, competent, long-time housekeeper has little respect for her inept new employer. Rebecca • Poverty-stricken farm girl goes to unbelievable lengths just t...
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